


Sonic Becomes A Communist

by MemesOfProduction



Category: Bee Movie (2007), Hamilton - Miranda, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Communism, Communist Sonic, Disney World & Disneyland, M/M, McDonald's, Revolution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemesOfProduction/pseuds/MemesOfProduction
Summary: This is the story of how Sonic, a simple proletarian hedgehog, became a Communist who was ready to fight the bourgeoisie with the help of his friends Karl Marx, Jar Jar Binks, and Barry B. Benson. Meanwhile, he is trying to convert his capitalist boyfriend, Alexander Hamilton, into the wonderful red world of Communism.~LOOSELY INSPIRED BYHARRY POTTER BECOMES A COMMUNIST~





	1. the beginning of the revolution!

One fine evening, Sonic the Hedgehog was sitting alone in his room with his boyfriend, Alexander Hamilton. They were drinking Pepsi and eating McDonald's while counting their money. Suddenly, a large crash was heard from outside, along with the breaking of glass. Sonic looked to the left and saw Karl Marx standing in the room. He had broken the window open using a hammer and a sickle!

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY!" Alexander screamed.

"No private property exists under Communism!" Karl Marx said happily. 

"But this isn't Communism, we live in a Capitalist country that I helped to invent," Alexander complained.

"Well, too bad. It's time for a Communist revolution. I've been oppressed by the bourgeoisie for too long!" Karl Marx declared. He walked over to the bed and noticed the pile of money, Pepsi, and McDonald's. He gasped. "How dare you! Corporations are evil and money shouldn't exist! Don't you care about proletarians?"

"Of course!" said Sonic. "I'm a worker myself, and Alexander used to be poor but then he got rich."

"The words poor and rich should not exist! I dream of a classless society!" Marx said, throwing the food and money into the trash can. "Come along, comrades, I'm going to teach you the ways of Communism and we're going to overthrow the bourgeoisie!" He reached into his beard and pulled out a small red book with a beautiful picture of a hammer and a sickle on it. "Here, take this. It's a book I wrote about my ideology."

"How much does it cost?" Alexander asked, still mourning over the loss of his McNuggets.

"Nothing. Everything is free in a Communist society." 

Karl Marx then lead Sonic and Alexander outside. Barry B. Benson, Sonic's old classmate, and Jar Jar Binks, Sonic's childhood best friend, were sitting on the lawn as if it belonged to the public. Rather than being creeped out, Sonic only smiled.

"Barry and Jar Jar! It's been so long!"

Jar Jar hugged Sonic. "Mesa missed you, Sonic! Karl Marx brought mesa and Barry over here to start a revolution. Yousa must join us!"

Barry flew up to Hamilton and sat down on his shoulder. "You are capitalist scum. This must come to an end."

"But I love money," said Hamilton.

"Yeah? And I love not being oppressed by the ruling class!" said Barry B. Benson. "Rich people make up ONE FUCKING PERCENT OF THE POPULATION! Focus on the MAJORITY! THE MAJORITY OF US ARE WORKERS!"

"Dude I don't understand what you just said, I failed math," said Alexander Hamilton.

Karl Marx laughed in a Communist way and beaconed for the rest of the group to follow him. "I know exactly which Capitalist we are going to fight first!" 

"I think I know a Communist," said Sonic. "His name is Knuckles and he is red."

"He sounds like a wonderful proletarian citizen! I hope that the revolution makes him happy."

Karl Marx stopped after a few minutes. Everyone was standing in front of Bill Gates's house. Karl Marx pulled some hammers and sickles out of his beard and distributed them evenly around the group like a good comrade. "We are going to seize the means of production!" he said happily. So they all broke into Bill Gates's house which was completely MADE OUT OF MONEY.

Bill was sleeping on his big bed made out of 100 dollar bills when Jar Jar jumped on the bed and woke him up.

"Holy shit it's Jar Jar Binks!" Bill Gates said starting to cry because Jar Jar scared him.

"MESA A COMMUNIST AND MESA HERE TO SEIZE DA MEANS OF PRODUCTION. DOWN WITH DA RICH! DOWN WITH CORPORATIONS!" 

Bill Gates grabbed some money from his money table and started throwing it at Jar Jar but Jar Jar was too strong. Jar Jar laughed and started to eat all the money! Bill got so scared that he jumped out the window but he didn't die because he might be relevant to the plot later. 

Jar Jar continued to eat all of the money as Barry and Karl discussed who they would take over next. Sonic just hung back and watched because he was still just a baby commie and he needed to watch and learn what to do. Alexander Hamilton was reading the Communist Manifesto. "I just don't think this will work out," he says. "We need money. We need a free market."

Upon hearing this, Karl Marx turned around and he looked angry. "YOU'VE LET THE RICH BRAINWASH YOU, HAMILTON! COMMUNISM IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO! Anyway, Barry and I have figured out the next place to go. Disney World. It is a very capitalist place that is swarming with petit bourgeoisie scum! But there are also young impressionable kids there. We can teach them the commie way before it's too late!"

So Karl lead everyone to an airport so they could fly to Disney. They snuck onto the plane without paying for a ticket because money is fake. Before they knew it they were at Disney World. They grabbed their hammers and sickles and now they were ready to fight.


	2. Disney World? More like Commie World!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy worker's day, comrades!

Once they got to Disney world they all stood on top of Cinderella's castle. Karl began to read out loud from The Communist Manifesto in a loud booming voice. Jar Jar and Barry evenly distributed out books, hammers, sickles, and food to the people. Sonic kidnapped all of the rich people at Disney and trapped them inside Space Mountain. Hamilton didn't know what to do because on one hand Sonic, Jar Jar, Barry, and Karl looked really fucking hot in red but also he didn't think Communism was good. Apparently he forgot what it was like to be young, scrappy, and hungry.

Elsa then ran outside of Cinderella's castle (she was in Cinderella's castle because they are girlfriends) and she started to throw snow at all of the rich. Cinderella was confused but she joined in anyway. A couple bougies froze to death. The disney police came over and asked what the hap was fuckening.

"A Communistic Revolution is fuckening!" Barry B. Benson declared happily. "And you can't stop it!"

"Oh yes I can," said the cop. "I can arrest you."

"If you arrest Barry you have to arrest all of us because that is the only thing that would be fair!" said Dr. Phil who in the crowd. Apparently he had had his commie awakening.

"I don't wanna go to jail," said a tiny child in the audience. "But if going to jail gives me Communism then I'll do it!" Before the Disney cop knew it, everyone was volunteering themselves to be arrested. In defeat, the cop shapeshifted into a frog and hopped away to Mars. That was a good thing because Mars is a commie planet. That's why it's called the red planet but the news won't tell you that!

"We should probably go get Sonic. He is busy locking people inside of Space Mountain," said Karl. "Our work here is done for now. And we recruited over ten thousand ex-capitalists! This is brilliant!" Cinderella's castle then began to rotate. This was a new feature added so that everyone would have equal views of the castle. There was a furry on the other side of the castle. Alexander Hamilton began to get scared.

The furry approached the group in a threatening way. He took off his fursuit to reveal....IT WAS BARACK OBAMA! Alexander was no longer scared because Obama was a Capitalist but of course this meant that the rest of the group was VERY scared.

"I heard that there was talks of Communism around here. What is going on?" Obama said. "I am the President and I will not allow this."

"You're not even the President though, Donald Trump is," Barry said as he started to sob.

"Donald Trump scares mesa! He looks like Maz Kanata!" said Jar Jar.

"I am still President of Disney," said Obama, "but please do not tell the feds. And Jar Jar, yes, you're right. Maz is a lot hotter than Trump though."

"Mesa know. Mesa hook up with her on da Millennium Falcon but don't tell anyone."

Suddenly, Karl Marx fell to his knees in front of Obama! Obama thought that he was trying to make a move so he backed away because he was very loyal to his wife Michelle. But then Karl started begging Obama to convert to Communism! The people liked him! Maybe then they would finally realize the truth!

Obama said he would think about it. First he wanted to go on the Winnie the Pooh rides. Meanwhile, Alexander Hamilton wanted to hook up with Obama but Obama kept telling him no so Alex was left alone to cry. While Obama was with Pooh and Alex was crying, the rest of the group went to go find Sonic.

Sonic was dying himself red in front of Space Mountain. He looked like Knuckles now! He was very happy when he found out that there was a chance of Obama becoming a Communist! He got really upset though when he found out that Alexander had almost cheated on him.

"Yousa shoulda expect it," Jar Jar told him. "Don't yousa remember Maria Reynolds?"

"Hey I wonder if she's a commie!" said Barry B. Benson. "She wears red a lot..."

"She is a Communist. I keep a list of commies on my TI-84 Plus Graphing Calculator. The list has grown significantly in the past few hours!" Karl Marx started to do a happy dance.

Obama reappeared then, this time with Alexander. Sonic assumed the worst and started to break down again but Obama assured him that nothing had happened between the two of them. Sonic still had a tiny bit of Democrat in him so he trusted Obama. Then he went back to dying his body in all red. Obama sat down to read The Communist Manifesto. He secretly really enjoyed it but he was scared that if he told anyone, the feds would show up and make him drink hot glue.

"Comrade Barack, are you alright? You look distressed!" said Marx.

"Yes, Mr. Marx, I am fine......... _comrade_." He spoke the last word very very quietly but luckily Marx could hear it and he knew exactly what it meant. Barack Obama was now officially a commie! He would have to keep it a secret for now though which was really sad because he wanted everyone to know. Then Sonic had a great idea!

"What if me, Jar Jar, Marx, and Barry go and announce it on the news? That way it's not coming from you so you can ease into the commie lifestyle. Like I'm doing."

Obama loved the idea. So Sonic announced it on twitter where he had over a million followers. He noticed that Twitter was no longer blue, it was red! A bunch of conservatives were rejoicing because they thought it was for the Republican Party. But Sonic knew the truth.

Sonic then put his phone away and then the group went around Disney FOR FREE because no one would be able to stop them now. Barry B. Benson laughed as he remembered that Walt Disney was one of the most capitalist Capitalists to ever have capitalisted. Barry knew that it was probably wrong to have such a good time at Disney but Karl hadn't kinkshamed him yet so maybe it would all be okay.

All bees were commies, anyway, so Karl wouldn't be able to get mad at him when Communism was literally in his nature.

Hamilton sat sulking next to the teacups. He didn't know what to do! He loved his money but he also loved Sonic. Jar Jar, Karl, and Barry were pretty sexy too. So was Obama obviously but that goes without saying. Plus, what would Alexander's many voters think? What would his friends do? He was Secretary of Treasury! America would fall apart if he became a Communist.

Sonic noticed that the love of his life was feeling sad so he climbed up onto Alexander's shoulders. "What's wrong, my dear comrade Alex?"

"Don't call me comrade...it makes me feel stressed. I don't know a fucking thing, my guy. You and your...you know...comrades...look so hot with your hammers and sickles, and your talks of overthrowing the upper class is beautiful but...I AM the upper class...and I work in the government...I don't know what everyone would think of me if I became a commie!"

"Who cares what they think? Just go with whatever YOU want. You hear Communism calling to you? Then join us. We can convert your friends, too, so you won't lose anything."

"But if I become a commie then America will be ruined."

"Two birds one stone," Sonic said with a shrug.

"Maybe I'll just do some commie things and see how it feels," Alexander said, grabbing his hammer and sickle. "I'll overthrow a rich person and see how it feels!" He then ran off into the moonlight. Sonic smiled proudly. This was a step in the right direction.


	3. everything changed when the liberals attacked

when Sonic and Obama woke up the next day they had thousands of twitter notifications. A bunch of people were mad at him and saying he never should have been President! not even from the gop (greasy old pigeon) but from democrats and liberals that had voted for Barack!

"Mesa confus. Whya can thesa hata yousa if thesa is part of yousa political party?" asked Jar Jar.

"They aren't part of my political party anymore...the thing is, Jar Jar, liberals hate Communists. They think we're evil. They think we need things like money and social classes..."

"Imagine being so wrong! What do we do?" asked Sonic. 

"Nothing for now. We've got bigger things to worry about...like your capitalist boyfriend."

"Besides from that fatal flaw, Alexander is _wonderful_ , and also he's showing improvement," said Sonic. Alexander had worse flaws than being a Capitalist, anyway - he read Homestuck, for example.

Barry B. Benson turned on the news then even though it was all biased. Naturally everyone was talking about Obama's transition to the Communist Party, and Bill Gates was crying on tv. He was whining because Jar Jar had eaten all of his money.

"Did you really do that, Jar Jar?" Obama asked.

Jar Jar nodded. "Redistributed it too!"

"Interesting..." said Obama.

Then there was a loud knock on the door and it was a bunch of liberals. "HUMANS ARE GREEDY AND COMMUNISM WILL NEVER WORK!" they war chanted. "Also we threw Friedrich Engels and Bernie Sanders in jail!"

"Bernie is a fake little shit. But Friedrich I care about...Sonic, take me to the prison! Gotta go fast! I will bail Friedrich out...WITHOUT MONEY!" Karl announced. So Sonic and Karl ran over to the jail. 

Memewhile, Jar Jar (who was probably a Sith) was using the Dark Side of the Force to make the Liberals go away. None of them were force sensitive nor did they know what Jar Jar was doing so Jar Jar quickly won the fight.

Then Sonic and Karl came back from the jail with Friedrich! Friedrich started flirting with Barry right away but Barry was too busy figuring out the best way to distribute the honey and did not pay any attention. Friedrich then went to hit on Sonic but Alexander started to beat him up because he was jealous. Sonic eventually dragged him away and calmed him down by showing him pictures of himself. He went to apologize to Friedrich but then he was all like "no, just have Hamilton beat everyone else up, that would only be fair!"

Hamilton started to laugh over that. "So under Communism I could just beat up everyone, as long as I do it equally? I can fight EVERYONE?"

"Well, yes, but there is much more to Communism then that. In fact, that's not what Communism is about at all. You see-" Friedrich started. But of course Alexander wasn't listening. The only person he ever listened to himself (and sometimes Guy Fieri). He also listened to Sonic but Sonic is a hedgehog not a person so that doesn't count.

"Enough with fighting and Force-training and eating honey!" Barack declared, levitating up on the table. "Let's get down to business to defeat the rich!"

They all grabbed their weapons and marched out of the building. They would take businesses down, one CEO at a time. Bill Gates had already been defeated, but one question remained: who was next?

"Let's take over.................MCDONALD'S," Barry B. Benson laughed laughily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GOOD FATHER MARX


	4. mcdonald's is a work of satan.

Steve Easterbrook, CEO of McDonalds, is a disgusting little man. Bu luckily, our heroes knew how to fix it.

Karl Marx smashed opened the windows of the Mcdonald's with his hammer and sickle. "LET'S MCFREAKIN LOSE IT!" He noticed that a lot of people were eating inside of the restaurant and he did not want to disturb their mealtime so instead he just jumped over the counter and broke open the cash register, and took all of the money. ALL OF IT. he evenly distributed it amongst everyone in the restaurant. 

"Thank you kind sir!" said someone who looked just like Thomas Edison. It wasn't him though because he is dead.

"you are very welcome, comrade" said Marx as he did a bow. "But don't get too attached - before you know it, we won't need any money at all!"

the feds broke into the mcdonalds then and told every1 to put their hands up.

"We heard that there are commies in this area trying to hurt the rich. We will not tolerate this, we must put a stop to this!" one of them said as he raised his gun.

"NO!" said Barry B Benson. "I WON'T LET YOU!"

"Well cut off my limbs and call me Edward Elric! It's a talking bee!"

"That's right, and let me tell you that bees wouldn't exist if it weren't for Communism. Honey wouldn't exist. YOU WOULD BE DEAD."

"But I'm vegan and honey isn't ethical!"

"You're wrong, PAL!" screamed Barry. "HONEY IS PERFECTLY ETHICAL. UNLIKE CAPITALISM."

"HEY," said the other fed. "This reminds me of that one scene in Harry Potter when-" but then JK Rowling appeared and killed him before he could finish his sentence. 

Memewhile, Alexander Hamilton was sitting by one of the tables and writing an essay (because he's Alexander Hamilton and he HAS to do that at some point) in barbecue sauce. He wasn't even paying attention!

"Alexander do you not care about the cause at all?" Sonic asked. He was absolutely heartbroken.

Alexander got up and started laughing. "HAHAHA. Actually, I am coming up with fun ideas for the Communist revolution. I'm still not completely on board but it could be fun to at least try these things. Hey, where did the feds go? And what about all of the money?"

"JK Rowling killed the feds and STOP THINKING ABOUT MONEY!! SATAN IS A CAPITALIST AND HE IS WHISPERING IN YOUR EAR AS WE SPEAK!" This was absolutely terrible. Sonic would not allow his boyfriend to fall to the dark side. Then he noticed someone sitting in the corner of the restaurant reading Capital, which was another book by Karl Marx. He got another look at the dude's face and saw that it was......GUY FIERI! Hamilton absolutely worshipped him! Sonic ran over to Guy Fieri (GOTTA GO FAST) and started to talk very quickly. "Dude you gotta go tell my boyfriend over there that Capitalism is evil and that Communism will win! Please, Guy! For me!" and Guy Fieri got up and walked over to Hamilton.

Guy Fieri started to read the book aloud to Hamilton and Hamilton seemed to like what he was hearing but then he ran away with Guy Fieri leaving Sonic all alone.

All around him, a war was waging, but Sonic could only focus on the sorrow that consumed his soul.

His boyfriend had left him for Guy Fieri.


	5. Let's Guillotine the Bourgeoisie Tonight, Qomrades!

Sonic was very emo and sad over the fact that alexander Hamilton had abandoned him. luckily marx and barry and jar jar were there to help him feel better! so marx used his guillotine (most commies had one) and they walked into the richest part of the town. On their way there they handed out free guillotines to all of the children. When it was time to behead paul ryan, paul's bff mike pence came up to try to stop them. he was crying.

"MAYBE WE'LL JUST GUILLOTINE YOU, TOO," said Barry B Benson

"Oh no it is a talking bee! that goes against the bible so now i will SEND YOU RIGHT TO HELL." said Mike Pence. Mike Pence thought he was god when in fact he was just a rich theocratic senator who hated everything.

"I'm in the middle of a bougie town. I'm already in hell," Barry said. Then Jar Jar and Karl made Mike Pence cry by talking about climate change. and then sonic came out (haha) wearing rainbows which made Mike Pence explode with fire.

"wow we didn't even have to guillotine that one..it's an anarchist miracle" sonic laughed evilly. Meanwhile Paul Ryan was still sitting there waiting to be beheaded......and then suddenly Guy Fieri and Alexander Hamilton showed up!   
"oh maybe I can use this creature in one of my recipes" said Fieri.

"No that's not a good idea, comrade" said Marx. "Invertebrates usually don't taste that well." Meanwhile Sonic was crying again because the appearance of Hamilton and Guy Fieri made him become all sad again 'cause he remembered that he was being cheated on but then something amazing happened!

"alexander i am gonna have to break up with you because i am in love with someone else" said Guy Fieri. "it is ............... WALUIGII!"

"Oh good I am in love with someone else too" Alexander said which of course made Sonic happy.But jar jar wasn't too happy because he just wanted to watch the rich get beheaded so he could eat them and their money.

Luckily they chopped off paul's head then . Mark Zuckerburg was next in line and he didn't know what was going on because he was too busy playing minecraft and listening to VOCALOID.

"You know, Vocaloid is not that bad," said Barry B. Benson. "I listen to the Thomas the Tank Engine soundtrack more but Vocaloid is ok!"

"My favorite music is all kinds of vaporware," said Jar Jar.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU, YA SITH" Sonic said but he was only joking because he actually loved Jar Jar dearly.

They were so caught up in their conversation they didn't even notice that the executions were finished with. Barry went off to redistribute wealth and Jar Jar went off to eat money. Jar jar, Karl, Alexander, and Sonic stayed back to play mariokart. Karl did the best at rainbow road which makes sense because he was probably the gayest of them all.

And then as they were playing Marx had a really fun idea: Mario Super Communist Brothers. He didn't know how it would work but he knew it was a very good idea. He really hoped the entire world would support this beautiful game.


End file.
